Corona Zombies, not the flick we need, but the one we deserve.

-Leigh Evans

“Screw tastefulness”

So I’m a little late to the party but here’s my little song and dance on CORONA ZOMBIES, Full Moon Features newest hot take on our current situation. Well, ok maybe not so much of a take at all.

Charles Band has been keeping us fed on the schlocky horror we all love, long before many of us were born. Always a forward thinker, Band’s Wizard Video foresaw the potential for growth in the video game market. You can thank Wizard for THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE Atari 2600 game, even if it wasn’t great. So it wasn’t surprising that the first horror movie based on our pandemic would come from Band. When I heard Corona Zombies was on it’s way during this crisis, my fear was that Band went too far this time. Maybe this stops my appreciation of the legendary producer and director?

I was wrong, CORONA ZOMBIES isn’t a movie in the traditional sense, it combines comedically dubbed footage from HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD and ZOMBIE STRIPPERS. Two films I am familiar with and actually like, there isn’t much I don’t like so I’m biased. The flick is only an hour long, which is good because it plays more like a riff track. There is new footage spliced in of a couple of ladies trying to make sense of the COVID-19 crisis. This new stuff falls flat for me as it’s just a series of tired jokes – “corona virus? Why is everyone drinking beer?”- we’re all pretty damn tired of that one. The real comedy is in the re-used footage, hilariously over dubbed.

I honestly got a good case of the chuckles from CORONA ZOMBIES, no green out session needed. In fact Band does a pretty good job at Lampooning the public and the government’s reaction to a global pandemic. Is it tasteful? not really, but CORONA ZOMBIES pokes more fun at widespread panic than it does human misery. It could have been called SATANIC PANIC ZOMBIES and had the same effect. I’m not understanding all the hate for this one, especially coming from people who refuse to watch it.

Y’all are just mad that Charles beat you to the punch huh? Admit it!

Please, for the love of all that is sacred, watch the thing you are saying offends you. By stating you are “deeply offended” by a movie you haven’t even seen, tells me you only care about the perceptions of the people around you. Have a little respect for yourself and don’t jump on the hate bandwagon just because your favorite blogger says so. Roger Ebert was deeply offended by I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, but he watched the whole damn movie before he made a comment! Of course, to me CORONA ZOMBIES wasn’t at all offensive.

This pandemic has been tough on all of us, I get it. But let’s not jump on someone for trying to make us laugh a little. Every day we turn on the news and see the toll this pandemic is taking on our world, news outlets have a literal death meter running on the screen. It’s perfectly fine to take a minute of levity, don’t let fear own you. Charles Band’s CORONA ZOMBIES isn’t a good movie, it’s debatable if it’s a movie at all. But it’s funny, it’s short, and it doesn’t come from a mean place. I enjoyed it, so give it a chance!

Three toilet paper rolls! Would have gotten four but it’s more of a curiosity piece than a movie.

You can find CORONA ZOMBIES on Full Moon’s streaming service, an eye out for the sequel involving a certain Tiger King.

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